Magma Erupts, Kills 100 Workers
Magma Design Automation sacrifices 100 workers to appease the volcano gods that watch over their San Jose, Calif. tech company.
Circuit City Overloads Breaker, Closes 155 Stores
“Losing 7,300 redundant workers by Dec. 30 will help with the bottom line,” said CEO Geordie McWatt. “We get all our people to bust their butts selling at Xmas, then lay them off. So we gain a lot of money, then don’t have to use any of it for payrol!”
Intersil Decides to Copy Pal, Anadigics, Cuts 140 Jobs
Milpitas, Calif.-based Intersil said it lost business because people confused it with Clearasil. Intersil has no acne fighting qualities.
AMD Lays Off 500, Makes Employees MAD
Advanced Micro Devices decided to cut 500 jobs today, to “break even” on $1.5 billion this quarter. Unfortunately, with all the workers, they would only make $1.49 billion. Sorry, guys!
SanDisk Vows Layoffs Won’t Just Be A Memory
Milpitas, Calif.-based SanDisk, maker of ugly memory sticks, says it can’t stop bleeding cash (needs employees to staunch the flow) — so layoffs by Christmas!
